Are You My Doctor?

There were many decisions that we had to make when we found out that we were expecting. We knew we needed to call an OB GYN (I like to call them girlie doctors) to get our initial appointment set up. I know you are supposed to have all these things worked out, and in a perfect world we would have. Only I was CONVINCED that it would take at least 4-6 months for us to conceive.

I stopped taking birth control about a week before our wedding, I am considered to be an Advanced Maternal Age (AMA), and I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). In my eyes this left us with a long road ahead, but we were still in the camp of Starting a Family Right Away when people asked us that typical question about kids just minutes after you said ” I do.” (Sometimes that question even comes before you have said those vows.) Little did we know that our  Trying To Conceive Days were numbered. We are very fortunate in that fact, but it still didn’t mask our shock. We didn’t have a girlie doctor and we needed one STAT!

Normally, I would go to my primary for all the annual check-ups, but this was different. Luckily, I had already asked my primary for a recommendation, so I called and got an appointment – whew! We were ready.

THEN, it all came to a screeching halt. Three days after my original test I started spotting, talk about panic mode setting in. I was ready, willing, and able to completely stress out – and boy, did I! So, I called the doctor and they said there isn’t anything we can do about it, if there is anything bad happening, we had to wait it out. They don’t see anyone until 8 weeks. Okay, that worked for about 2 days. We were headed out of town that weekend and I was kinda dying to figure out what was going on, but I had to try to be patient. I guess, all in all, it was a good thing because being away kept my mind off of it, as much as possible. Really that meant I couldn’t dwell, otherwise, we would be telling everyone on that trip. Which was horrifying to me, especially if we lost the baby.

So, I made it through that waited. Then the spotting got worse. I internally freaked out, called the doctor’s office on a Monday and explained, the lady on the phone said ok, I will talk to the doctor and call you back. Four days went by and nothing, I was just waiting. I’m not sure if you have ever waited by the phone willing it to ring or not (yes, teenage years are calling), but it was excruciating. By Friday I couldn’t take it and decided to ask some friends who recently had babies to see if they would recommend theirs – they did! AND one of them was in my network, right across the street from the closest hospital to us! PERFECT!

I called them and a few others, just to get a feel for other offices. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. Ended up making an appointment with my friend’s doctor. Here is why: I was on the phone with the lady who answered for over 20 minutes. She listened to me, gave me options of where to go if anything else started happening that was alarming. And set up an appointment for me the earliest they had available. I have to admit that it did seem like she was just being nice to me at first, then when she found out how long the bleeding had been, my age, and that I had PCOS; she took me seriously.

The feeling of just having to wait another week was so liberating, I could do that.

When I went to the appointment, it was great! They even got me an ultrasound the next morning, so they could diagnosis what was going on. I was so relieved and happy to finally feel like I wasn’t being an over-paranoid first time pregnant chick.

So, why the long drawn out blog post? To show anyone else that might stumble upon this that it’s ok to freak out and ok to feel that you aren’t being taken care of by the professionals that are paid to do so. Take that feeling and do something about it. Find a doctor that will work with you, listen to you, and make you feel comfortable. Just because they see pregnant ladies all day long, doesn’t make you any less important. It’s your pregnancy to enjoy and the doctor has a lot to do with it.

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One thought on “Are You My Doctor?

  1. Ryan Boyer says:

    This is such a good post for a whole host of reasons. First, most women don’t (or even husbands don’t want their wives) to be “that” paranoid first time pregnant chick and the thing is YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE PARANOID THE FIRST TIME YOU’RE PREGNANT! Second, more women go through this than is widely known. We had a number of complications with our first kids. Everything turned out great, but it was scary at the time. Finally, pregnancies are too important to have a crappy doctor.

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